Author: Anna Puchades Romano is a certified Essence of Bellydance teacher and professional dancer.
The journey of surrendering
Throughout my nine months of pregnancy, I received so many lessons and gifts, but the first thing that comes to mind in terms of learning was: surrendering.
It has been an incredible journey that continues. A journey that taught me a lot about letting go, and about releasing my expectations and my will, to make the process of pregnancy as personal as possible. The same thing happens to us when we dance: balance is a key element of the process, more so than being in control.
When I first found out I was pregnant, I was on my way to teach my “Dance for disabled people” classes. I realized at that moment that my body didn’t feel the same as usual, it was a very subtle yet disorientating change: “This is not my body anymore!” Intuition becomes so strong when we are pregnant and as a result, I was sure I was pregnant before any test could tell me.
Dancing as part of wellbeing in pregnancy
Movement has always been the way I connect with the world, it has supported me in so many times of my life, the hard ones and the happy ones, so I wanted to keep dance as a part of my pregnancy journey. At that time I was belly dancing, doing some auditions, some ballet, some African dance, and recently I had fallen in love with hula hooping.
It’s funny, I felt active and well (except for two sick days) but for some reason, my preferences changed a little in the first trimester. As a dancer and dance teacher, I am used to discipline, focus, and hard work, I’m used to being a perfectionist. But somehow, I didn’t feel like that anymore. Somehow, I had naturally made a strong commitment to take care of my body.
Strong sensuous, feminine energy
After years and years of being strict and demanding to my body, it was time to give her what she needed and to create the best conditions for her to work with this magical change she was creating.
I was much more in tune with the messages I got from her, and I could listen better. My body spoke to me: it asked for sensuousness, strong feminine energy, consciousness, and a kind of groovy and grounded form of movement. No exhausting workouts anymore, no rigid stretching sessions, no more serious dancing in front of the mirror trying to catch any imperfection… I felt at one with my body.
Ironically, my performances improved a lot. I always thought that I needed to be a perfectionist in order to improve, but the more connected I felt and the more I gave to my body, the more she gave back in return.
I remember going to an audition one day. The old me was always tense and overcritical in those situations, fearing I won’t be good enough and not as perfect as I could be. But surprisingly I was now telling myself: “Let’s go, do what you can, and try to enjoy it!” I had more fun than usual and in a more relaxed way... and they liked it! It was similar when I filmed a choreography, or when I had to replace an injured friend in a very challenging play, with lots of details and changes to remember…
I felt incredible, intuitive, instinctive, animalistic, loaded with femininity, and very confident of my power as a woman, and my dance was a reflection of that. Being on stage and knowing that my little one was playing in my belly was one of the most priceless experiences I’ll keep forever.
Embracing imperfection and creating a safe space
I continued eating pretty healthily all throughout my pregnancy and being active. In the first trimester, I did mostly dance and also prenatal yoga but in a very flowy-dancy way.
The second trimester was a bit strange: I had to leave my apartment and spend one month in a friend's place before moving to my actual home and that caused many financial and work problems.
At a time when I needed my space, my place, my “cave” more than ever, life provided me with changes, unknown situations that made me feel a bit scared, vulnerable, and sensitive.
I had to work on the acceptance of my feelings, my circumstances, and to embrace the little frightened inner girl I felt at times. This was a valuable lesson for me, something that I really needed to learn: to embrace the imperfection, to go on stage without being in the best conditions, to create a safe space for me where I could express all that I was feeling. My daily dance practice was that safe space for me.
Goodbye ritual
In the third trimester, things were a bit calmer and I could have lovely walks in nature. I continued with my yoga (mostly hip-opening poses) and my belly dancing. I remember my reflection in the window while I shimmied around one day, feeling more beautiful and tender than ever before, like a full moon. My balance was very compromised and my lungs were softer so I moved more gently, but I was flexible and energetic almost until the end.
I kept moving till the very last day, my mind giving my body what I was craving each day, particularly walks and juicy hip circles (anything to mobilize the hips and the spine felt really good) while the baby played his own dance inside my belly.
The day before going into labor, I went on a lovely walk with my boyfriend, I drew a nice mandala on my belly and I ended up dancing slowly. It was my unconscious “goodbye” ritual to pregnancy.
The next morning at 7 a.m. my water broke and labor started. I remember being scared and nervous, and I took a few minutes to think about important women in my life, those women whose energy I wanted to have close on that day. All the way to the hospital my contractions were so strong that I thought: “I can't do this”, “I am too sensitive, too small and powerless, this is too much for me”...
The only thing that seemed to help was to focus on my breathing, on releasing my body instead of tightening up, to be open to what has to come, and not to try to control it. A difficult thing at that moment as I couldn't move freely in my car seat, and it felt like it took us ages to get there, but once we arrived at the hospital, and I came out of the car, it all changed.
Natural, raw and beautiful
I was not feeling fear anymore, I was in action mode. Almost in an instinctive animalistic state, my body showed me the way to go. I felt so clearly how to position my body, how to breathe when to push, and when to stop… I was completely dilated, my two wonderful midwives told me to follow my body's cues and to team along with my baby, and so I did.
It was so wild, powerful, and strong, like a female wolf, like a warrioress, like so many women before me...
My partner and those women were my angels, they held my hand, gave me water, put hot wet cloths over my body to avoid tearing, stroking me, and putting my hair out of my face. Natural, raw, and beautiful.
After 45 minutes of pushing, the famous “ring of fire” came: my pelvic area burned so much, and I knew I was so close to the end. Our baby came to the world, so precious and healthy, wet and warm, with the loveliest cry in the world, weeping for heat and for love.
There I was, still shocked at what I had just done, hugging him into my chest… I’ve never felt bigger and never more powerful.
Trust your body, let go of control
My message to all those pregnant women that are a bit nervous is: there are a few things we can all do to help the process along (such as having good body awareness, flexibility, and a physical condition, being active, eating healthy, and so on) but we are not in control of the process.
Pregnancy taught me how much power we can find when we are lost, by letting go of the illusion of control and being open to what has to come. By trusting that bodies are wise, strong, and loyal. After all those years of doubting or neglecting my body, it did so perfectly at guiding me through this magical time of dancing with the new life.
If you’re currently pregnant and looking to get more in touch with your body so that you can work on surrendering, relaxing, and releasing control as well as cultivating self-love, you can still benefit from my signature Sensuous Dance Workout program. In fact, we have even tips on how to use the program in pregnancy and after birth in the bonus material.
About the author
Anna Puchades Romano is a professional dancer and teacher. She has been a certified Essence of Bellydance teacher since 2018 and is based in Madrid, Spain.
You find Anna in our Essence of Bellydance teacher directory.
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